Monday, April 7, 2014

The Pros and Cons that Accompany a Bad Day...or whatever....

Today was a horrible day.  It was actually a fine day, with one horrible moment.

But honestly sometimes, it's hard to separate the two.

Lest you think it all too perfect...

A man in our community called my motives into question.  Threatened my livelihood.

Those who know me best, cringe.

Yea, it didn't fair well for him.

This gentleman has a reputation for being condescending with women. And yet...

He emailed my husband "off line" for help dealing with me.  (Yup, that ACTUALLY happened)...

And, yet...


After I executed an IMMEDIATE, perfect fit...full of sarcasm and well timed eye rolls...

After I let him know EXACTLY what I thought about him and his 1980's jeans....

After I made it clear that he was a BULLY and I wouldn't tolerate that...infact I could BULLY right back...

After I informed him emailing my husband offline for help "dealing with me" was stupid.  After all, I am (commence shouting) A PROFESSIONAL BUSINESS WOMAN FOR GOD'S SAKE!

After I had totally thrown out all maturity, common sense, level headedness and logic...

Once I had thoroughly lost my mother wit, and sweet reason....and even taken my annoyance with "this man" out on a friend....(people hoping to be my friend, beware...)

And in general become the version of myself I like the LEAST...

Well, after all that, I tried to say the RIGHT things...

"No Shanna, you don't get to eat a cupcake.  It's just anger.  It's just anger."

And this evening, after expending all that emotion...I'm left with the bottom line.

Bottom line is this, some people are just going to be difficult.  Some people are going to be bad listeners, poor communicators.  Some people will miss read your motives.  Be mean even.  Bone headedness exists.
Understanding this is important.  And this truth, doesn't have to ruin my day.

You and I can't spend precious hours dwelling on our critics.  What we do, what we are for, what we are called to do -- is too important.

If our shoulders are to get stronger -- able to carry more weight of glory -- the weight of larger businesses, growing families, and being a part of God's Kingdom even, we need to stay focused.  

The habit of ignoring a critic would appear to be paramount.

Ignoring a critic however, is different than receiving constructive criticism.

There was no truth in what this man was insinuating.  When my husband however quietly said, "You knew you wouldn't change his mind.  You know you'll never receive an apology.  You didn't have to respond immediately though.  It only made you feel worse.  You could have waited until you were less emotional."

Well, that was truth.  My response made this man's bad behavior look positively marvelous.  That's so precious.  And, unfortunate.

Lesson received.  Again.

So, at the sake of quoting song lyrics, I'm going to Let It Go.


I started by apologizing to the friend who had to get the ear full about it.  She was as innocent as I was.  Then, I said out loud, "I choose to forgive this man."  I don't intend to do business with him.  He isn't a person I respect.  He isn't, however, the world's worst human being.  So, I extend grace.  Because I need grace.  In this situation -- I need grace.  In life, in every single day real life, I need grace.  That's a fact Jack.

I thank my husband for being the kind of man who sees women as real people -- with brains.  And I smile at the thought of him giving out my phone number today, letting the other gentlemen know he was free to call me directly.  B's no dummy.

I forgive myself.  I've given myself good reason to remember why I need a Savior.  And that's ok.  Because I really, really do need a savior.

And, tomorrow is a new day.

2 Corinthians 4:17,

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