{Parenting in Real Time} - "Dating Rules" Part I, Mom's Point of View

Earlier this week, I wrote this blog.  Honestly, my intention was just to tell a funny story.  The blog, however, generated quite a few emails asking questions about our "dating rules".

Billy and I are often asked about our "rules".

What are our rules concerning cell phones?  What are our rules concerning curfews? What are our rules concerning chores?  And very frequently, what are our rules concerning dating?

Truth be told, you'd all be surprised to find out just how little RULES we use to operate our family of 7.  

With 5 kids, and a business to run, we are busy, busy, busy.  REMEMBERING rules is a problem for us (nearly impossible -- even when we write them down).  Besides, Billy is a rule breaker by nature, so really, what's the point?

In general...

What are our rules concerning cell phones?  Yes/No/Sometimes -- Live in the light.

What are our rules concerning curfews?  Be where you are, doing what you say you're doing.  Be safe and live in the light.

What are our rules concerning chores?  Clean your own mess, help when asked, when you see something that needs to be done -- take initiative and do it.

What are our rules concerning dating?  Well, it depends.  Live in the light.  Restraint before release.  Drama's not necessary.  Yes/No/Sometimes.

We like to keep our children guessing.

We are pro-relationships.  We want our children to live in the world, enjoying relationships with a variety of people. I am OFTEN heard telling them, "Breathe deeply.  Enjoy your relationships."  

But that's not what you rule keepers want to know.

So, without further a do, here are 13 standards we like to talk about in the RamFam home as it relates to dating...presented just like I say them to my kids.  This list is in no way shape or form comprehensive.  We always reserve the right to grow in wisdom as parents, to say "no" and in general to think up new ways to embarrass our teenagers.

Next week, Billy will share from his point of view.  Who knows, maybe the RamFam kids will chime in too.   

1.  You attract who you are.  Healthy attracts healthy.  Unhealthy attracts unhealthy.  Mr. Right is generally not attracted to Miss Wrong (and vice versa).  BE THE RIGHT PERSON.

2.  Dating in High school is pretty pointless.  Since you attract who you are, you are better off spending your high school years BECOMING THE RIGHT PERSON.  Being involved in your faith community, serving others, working hard, taking school seriously, being active and healthy, working a job, mentoring a sibling, learning new things, going on new adventures -- THESE are worthy pursuits for your time.

*  For New Lifers, David Perkins preaches a sermon about "tithing" your teen years in order to enter your 20's healthy, strong and ready for whatever comes next.  It's good.  Listen to it.

3.  Learning to be "just friends" is important.  Should you marry, you will become "just friends" with every other person on the planet.  Great marriages happen between two people who were first great friends.  Develop the skill now. 

4.  Live in the light -- no secrets.  Your parents are reasonable.  Share your journey, thoughts and heart with us.  Don't make us have to read your diary.  We're all in this together so to speak.  We want to know your friends.  We will be sending them a Facebook request.

5.  Allow space in your life for wisdom.  You will not live without mistake or regret.  Hindsight is perfect for everyone.  But if you open your heart to wisdom at the beginning of your process (the Holy Spirit, the Bible, books, us, leaders, well chosen friends), you will be happier in the long run.  Lessen regret.

6.  You can trust our heart towards you.  We are not perfect, but our heart (our intentions towards you) are as perfect as it gets.  If we say "NO" to a particular person, it is because we love you and see danger you do not.  We ask you to allow us to protect you at this time.  You can choose to go your own way, but it will not end in a way that brings you happiness.  Learn from your mistakes.

7.  Protect your body.  People now a days have cooties.  Cooties that kill.    

8.  Protect your words.  EVERY relationship does not have to be serious.  Hold back on words that denote commitment to one person until you are sure this is where you want to go. "I Love You" should be held back for serious relationships that have the potential to end in marriage.  Our emotions tend to go the way of our words, so when in doubt, wait.

9.  Protect your heart (your mind).  This is a hard thing.  You will have to FIGHT to stay pure in this area your whole life.  We all do.

10.  Restraint before release.  Learn to say NO to yourself in a variety of areas for a time.  There are MANY applications for this in adult life.  It's a skill, work on it.

11. Keep drama to a minimum.  When you no longer wish to spend this kind of time with a person, let them know in an honest way.  Quickly.

12.  Marrying the wrong person, can have SERIOUS implications in your life.  As you mature and approach the season for marriage, you should begin to give careful thought to this.  If at all possible, you want to get it right the first time.  

13.  Should things go wrong, remember, we can't be a perfect family.  We know that we do not have perfect children and you know you do not have perfect parents.  However, we are a forgiving family.  You are always loved.  Always wanted.  We are always on your side.  No matter what.

Much love,

{Parenting in Real Time} - Adventures in Dating

We have 3 daughters.

Three cute daughters.

As a result, over the years, there has been no shortage of nice young men overly willing, tripping over themselves to assist us.  They eagerly offer to take our groceries out to the car.  No thanks, we've got it.

As we walk up to the mall, there are always GROUPS of spritely gentlemen willing to drop their cigarettes and open the door for us.  We've got Benjamin and Eli right here to do that, thanks.

And, waiters are always extra attentive (who doesn't need 5 refills, and 4 baskets of bread at dinner).  No tip, Jack.

Bless their hearts.

I still remember the first time a boy called for our oldest daughter.  Billy answered the house phone.  The following is what I heard come out of his mouth...

Startled...

"Who is this"?

Dad, obviously, not used to hearing a male voice on the other line asks again...

"Who is this"?

Still confused, and certainly unwilling to acknowledge the voice of another male on the other end of the line, dad asks a third time speaking s-l-o-w and loud...

"Who is this"?  (It carried a similar inflection as saying, "What the what"?)

Dad's face finally registers with the brevity of the situation...

Cuts boy off mid sentence...

"I'm sorry, no.  Just, no.  She does not take phone calls from boys."

Dial tone.

We've interviewed (for lack of better term) many a young man over the years.  We believe we have quality girls -- and if you're not a quality boy -- you shouldn't even try to step to them.

(That would be a good bumper sticker for my van).

When Billy puts on his "Mr. Ramsdell" hat and asks, "How do you manage your porn habit"?  Well -- let's just say, it's game on.  As to whether or not it's better to have an answer or not have an answer to that question, I just don't know.

Some were keepers.  Many were not.

Since dumping the house phone, a few (very few) young men have had the courage over the years to call Billy directly.

One such conversation...

With an official tone in his voice, the young man (who couldn't have been more than 14) starts with, "Mr. Ramsdell, I would like to know if we could get together soon for coffee.  I'd like to discuss with you my options with your middle daughter."

Mr. Ramsdell responds with formality, "I would like to thank you for calling.  I appreciate your respectfulness, and with all due respect back, there are NO OPTIONS with my middle daughter."

Dial tone.


Tonight, we get another one of these calls.  Yes, I often wonder how much of this we can take.

Boy (whose approach is to sound like Billy's best bud) asks if he can take him out to lunch this week -- his treat.  Interesting.  This is new.

Billy says yes.  When I give him "the look" that says, "Really?  Is it necessary that we have to get to know ANOTHER one"?  He puts his hand over the mouth piece of the phone and simply whispers, "Hey, I've gotten good at these meetings.  This time, I'm gonna get a free BBQ plate before I tell him no."

Dial tone.

It's amazing that the girls continue to give their dad's number out.  Boys beware.

Why I don't give out "Music Report Cards"

This Fall, I will have been teaching private music lessons for 18 straight years.

My mother-in-law graciously gave us her piano when I was pregnant with our oldest daughter.  When Elizabeth was about 3 months old, I told Billy I thought I could earn extra money by teaching.  I remember saying, "I'm going to need to advertise.  I've prayed about it, but I don't expect God to just drop students in my lap."  THE VERY NEXT DAY, my neighbor came over and knocked on our door.  Having been a piano teacher for 20 plus years herself, she said, "I have several students whom I can't fit into my schedule anymore.  Would you like to take them?"  Dropped.  In.  My.  Lap.

And so it began.

I charged $28 a month.

Last week I gently picked up a student's assignment notebook.  I said to this young man who we'll call John, "John, you started this piece 3 months ago.  It isn't a particularly difficult piece.  6 weeks ago we decided you should go ahead and try to put your hands together.  4 weeks ago, we said the same thing.  2 weeks ago, we said the same thing.  Today, we're saying the same thing AGAIN, but at home, you're still just practicing your right hand?????"  FORTUNATELY, this kid is a good sport and was laughing by the end of my "Mrs. Obvious" speech.

Did he go right home and practice well for his next lesson?  Nope.  For my sake, I changed the song the following week.  Don't judge.  12 weeks is a long time to listen to 8 notes in the right hand.

There is a place for teaching "perseverance".  But living in denial is a waste of time for everyone.  Sometimes, what you WANT to happen -- just isn't going to happen.  In this case, John and I both needed a fresh start.  He's done beautifully with the new piece.

Of course, all things, including music class, can offer a platform for "real life" lessons.  Perseverance, discipline, responsibility, hard work, and the list goes on.  But, that's not what parents pay me to do.

I once had a teacher tell me if her students forgot their books, they would work on flashcards for 30 straight minutes.  She said it as if it were a punishment for their forgetfulness.

Sure. That's one way.

I opt to keep copies of my students books in my studio.  Forget your books?  It's ok.  Adults forget things on occasion as well.  I have a copy here.  Practice your flash cards at home.  When you're with me, we make music.

There is nothing new about the importance of the studio/home connection.  The communication between teacher-student-parent is as important when trying to teach a child to play a musical instrument as it is in the traditional classroom.

Over the years, I've implemented the habit of writing assignments down in notebooks, so my expectations are clear.  Both student and parent have my notes available to refer too.  Reminder emails and the occasional phone call are helpful as well.  Certainly, regular performance opportunities and the occasional competition are good motivators to practice.

Ultimately, I believe that my primary responsibility as private music instructor and business operator is to help each family accomplish THEIR musical goals.  Not to insist that they live up to mine.

The TYPE A mom says, "Shanna, I've decided my children ARE going to learn to play the piano and the viola...because more college scholarships are available for viola players -- and piano teachers who play more than one instrument can charge more.  Therefore, they will be practicing 45 minutes a day per instrument and I'd like them to be placed on a competition track.  I never want a single note written in their books -- their brains need to be working all the time.  And, if they happen to cry in their lesson, just shrug it off and keep going.  We want them to feel pressure."  I do what I can to make that happen for them.

When FUN mom says, "Shanna, we want our daughter to take 3 months of lessons.  She just wants to learn a few chord charts to play while she sings."  I make that happen.

CREATIVE mom, "Shanna, do you know of a Composition Clinic in the Springs this summer?"  Why yes, I do.

When BUSY mom says, "Shanna, I want all 5 of my homeschooled children to take music lessons with you.  However, we are NEVER going to practice.  Are you ok with that?"  Yes. We "practice" during the "lesson".

I don't, however, hand out Music Report Cards at the end of the year.

I  know plenty of teachers that do.

I however have decided that I do not want MUSIC to be another place for kids to be judged and found wanting.  I don't want to say, "You get a C in Theory".  Knowing I'm being "generous" because said child NEVER does their theory assignment.  I'd rather just say, "Hey you, do your theory assignment!"  And if that doesn't work -- I'd rather try, "Hey mom, I noticed your child doesn't enjoy doing assignments in their theory book.  Maybe they'd like this website instead!".  And let the notes fall where they may.

I LOVE good technique.  But bottom line, I don't want to sacrifice joy to get it.

I want to be a light in my students week.  I want my teachers to be a light in their students week.  I want my children to LOVE music and enjoy the process of learning to read it's language (something only 20% of our population knows how to do).  I want kids who are relaxed enough during lessons to concentrate, learn to think musically, laugh, enjoy and make adjustments on the spot.

I'm not suggesting that everyone get a trophy.  Or that we make everyone feel like they are doing a good job -- even when they aren't.  But, teachers must understand that music has it's priority in people's lives -- and it most often isn't #1.  Our students are real people -- with many, many aspects to their full lives.  We want them to be happy to see us -- for they'll never become the accomplished musicians we know they can be if we suck the life right out of them.

A few days ago I saw a young student who had practiced hard on a piece she particularly enjoyed.  She played with great technique, showed mastery of the material and had a delightful smile on her face.  Right up until the last note.  She just couldn't quite get her small fingers to play the inverted chord correctly.  She teared up.

I could have spent our 30 minutes together working that chord shape into her tiny hand.  But something else was at stake here.  Joy.

She had just played 999 notes correctly.  Perfectly.  How could I let 1 chord rob her of her brilliance?

I asked, "Would it be just as fun for you to play this piece if we changed the last chord?"  She answered, "Yes, but then it would be wrong."  I said, "No, it wouldn't be wrong.  It would just be changed.  It's ok for us to think about the piece and change something we'd like to make different."  She smiles.  In 5 minutes, problem solved.  Tears averted.  On to the next piece -- which offered another chance to work on said inverted chord.

No need for a report card.  Although, at that particular moment, I would have given both of us an A.  :)

While Daddy's Away...

What a week!

Billy flew out early Wednesday morning to speak at a workshop on Parenting in Florida.  It must have went well.  He sounded happy -- so did our friends putting on the event.

Dad got to stay here...

Nice, huh?

That's my mom's back yard.

He deserved a few days of rest, fair enough.

But while he was away talking about parenting, well, let's just say I was here doing it.  :)

Still recovering, I purchased my needed vitamins and set a schedule.  It's complicated.  B-12 shots, multi with iron, calcium (but not too close to the iron and only 500 mg at a time...3 times a day), and not to forget the D3.  Basically, I eat vitamins these days.

I finished my lesson plans for the rest of the year.  I'm done seeing my clients on May 18th and will be taking off until JULY!  Yea me!

We are going to do this in my preschool class...

My older classes are going to try this...

I planned summer lessons and started working on summer camps...and ran accounts payable.

Victoria was accepted and CONFIRMED in College Pathways.  Such a blessing!  More on this later...

Elizabeth and Hosanna worked A LOT.

Usually, B does early mornings and late nights -- as I'm more of a "mid day" type of person.  Saturday, taking Hosanna to work at 7:30am she mentioned that she had picked up a "double shift" and that I'd need to come back and pick her up at midnight.  I almost wrecked into a tree.  Fortunately, my mother-in-law had mercy on me. She offered to pick Hosanna up.

We did a soccer game.  We kicked butt 6 to 1.

We registered for the pool -- only $99 this weekend.  Can't.  Wait.

I shopped with this sweety.

I will soon bless you all with a blog about bathing suit shopping with teen daughters.  

You're Welcome.

We ate NO fast food.  Tuesday, I will have been "off" fast food for 1 month.  AWESOME!

I worked on a grad gift for Elizabeth.

A little collage of her childhood art projects.  I just love this!

We couponed.

$400 in groceries for $250.  Not EXTREME COUPONING, just REGULAR COUPONING people!

I sold a book on Amazon.  Missions trip fundraising nearing an end.  Can we all say, amen!

I didn't fold this laundry.

This stack was much smaller before Billy left.  It's grown.  I hope he still wants to come back!

I planned next weekend away, here....

I AdOrE the Old Town Guest House in Old Colorado City.

Who wouldn't love this?

And this?

Bedrooms with private balconies with hot tubs that over look Pike's Peak and the sunset?

Yes, please.

Today I decided to REST.  Get outside with all the other Coloradans.  It's 70 and the sun is blazing.

After a two mile walk at the park, I took Eli and a friend for ice cream...

Eli found this treasure.  I wonder if it's real?  It says $20.

And since Monday and Tuesday are my BUSIEST days of the month -- come Wednesday I'll be exhausted and come Friday -- very much in need of a night away!!!

Dad comes home tomorrow!!!

What a difference 2 weeks can make...

It might feel like I'm coming out of the closet here -- but I just haven't gotten around to telling everyone.

A little over 2 weeks ago, on April 2nd, I had Gastric Bypass Surgery.

How I came to that decision was years in the making -- and material for another day (don't worry, I'll get around to it - and I'm more than happy to share my process).  I actually thought about starting a new blog dedicated to this topic -- and my next thought was WHO WANTS TO READ AN ENTIRE BLOG DEDICATED TO GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY or even about MY weight loss?  I quickly answered, I DON'T.  For real, I don't.

Here's the jist of it.  It's a kicka** recovery.  Believe me.  The word a** is appropriately placed there.  It's that hard.  Even when the surgery apparently "couldn't have gone better".  In the first week, I only thought I'd die about 100 times.

God must have other plans for me.

Yesterday was my 2 week post opt visit.  I have lost almost 16 lbs.  The doctor said it was mostly water weight (and I didn't even slap him).  I've been cleared for all physical activity -- which means I've been doing "Walk Away the Pounds" by Leslie Sansone.

3 miles, in 45 minutes -- with a firm band.  Hallelujah.

Since it's technically a 6 week recovery, I'm still on "soft foods".  Which is a whole lot better than clear liquids, believe you me.  I never. EVER. want chicken broth again.  Nuff said.

But, man, do I feel better!

I've had my first attempt at eating in a restaurant.  1 egg, over easy, at Cracker Barrel.

They charge you $6.99 for that by the way.

I've cooked a couple of times.  Tonight, Vegetarian Chili - light on the spice.

My diet is WAY different -- and WAY healthier.  High protein, low carb -- very little sugar.

And my doctor has ALREADY taken me off of ALL -- that's A.L.L. -- meds for blood pressure and diabetes.  Rock on.

HOWEVER, that's NOT all that's happening around here....

Elizabeth has her first voice student competing in a competition in just 3 weeks.  I'm her accompanist and she's doing great!

She also took a SECOND job at ChickFila.

(Since they give free meals to their employees, I've speculated that we should all 7 work there.)

Elizabeth's graduation happens on May 24th -- Grad Party on May 26th -- Leave for a week in Hawaii on May 27th.  Yup.  Fun.  Exciting.  Crazy.  (I can't wait to be in Hawaii!)

Hopefully, we'll she'll have decided on a college by then.

Hosanna has also been working at Chick.  Miss Smarty Pants will be inducted into the National Honors Society on Monday night.

Saturday night, however, is Prom.  She borrowed a dress and is going with a young man the RamFam parents happen to adore.

Note:  Boys we don't adore -- need not apply.  Whereas I might be able to be charmed and won over, Mr. Ramsdell -- not so much.

Ben got his cast off.  He's been in physical therapy and playing around (agility drills only) with the football team.  He's been selling doughnuts like crazy (which means his father makes him get up at the crack of dawn inorder to drive 39 miles ONE WAY to the nearest Krispie Kreme) -- and only about $300 from his $1995 missions trip goal.  This past Saturday, he participated in this first training with Every Home for Christ.  I. Love. It.

Victoria, thanks to her expert knowledge of "the law" and persistent personality, was able to start a prayer group at school. In just a few weeks they've gone from having 3 participants to having 10 -- and she's VERY excited about that!  She was recently invited to join the College Pathways program next year -- which if accepted -- will be major change.

Eli started soccer during my recent recovery.  Lets just say, he probably won't have a career in it HOWEVER he did make a perfect score on his 5th spelling test in a row -- earning yet another Light Saber -- one that ACTUALLY lights up and makes sound!  Spelling is harder when you have limited vision.  Good thing he's a genius (and really cute)!

Last but not least, Billy is getting ready to go back on the road again soon -- speaking at a parenting conference in Florida on April 26th.  After taking care of me day and night since April 2nd, I'm SURE he needs the break!  We are thankful for all the opportunities extended towards him this past year to speak and minister.  Truly, truly a blessing!

Best of all summer's right around the corner!

We.  Need.  Summer.  :)

Peace....

Hosanna in the Highest

Our 16 year old daughter, Hosanna, took a job recently at Chick-Fil-A.

She started in the Dining Room - sweeping, cleaning floors, refilling drinks and being social with customers.

One day, a lady noticed her name tag and said, "Hosanna.  I LOVE your name!  How'd you get it"?

Hosanna is gracious.

She smiled and said sweetly, "Probably the same way you got your name.  My parents gave it to me."

This is my child.

The real, REAL story goes  like this....

Back in the mid 90's Billy was helping to lead worship at our church in Valrico, Florida.

Elizabeth was just a few months old.  

That Sunday evening, I had the "ministry" of running the slide projector.  Some of you will appreciate.  

"State of the Art" in worship ministry at the time, the machine projected the words to the songs on the wall - just incase someone forgot them.

I sat on the back row and clicked the button forwards and backwards - keeping in pace with Billy.

I wasn't praying -- or asking -- in a typical sense, but I was listening.  Listening to see if there was anything God would want to whisper to me.  

All of a sudden, in my imagination, I saw a blonde haired little girl, dancing (and dancing well).  I heard, "Her name is Hosanna."

I was a little taken a back.  It was so crazy vivid in my minds eye that I actually began to talk to God, quietly, but out loud.

This is what I said, "You can't name a baby Hosanna.  It's not a name."  :)

But over the course of the next few weeks, it grew on me.  A lot.

Billy loved it.

But we told no one our plan.  We had already decided and we didn't want to be talked out of it.

Funny, years later, if you know her -- well her name has always just suited her.  Although, I'm sure she didn't want to explain all of THAT to the lady at ChickFila.

And, did I mention, she can dance?

Selah.

Fundraising 101

It's that time of year around here.

Not just in my home, but in my community at large.

And we love it.

People are preparing for all kinds of missions trips.

We've been so excited to be able to give to people traveling domestically with the Thorn Production, friends serving at an orphanage in Africa, kids leading soccer camps in Argentina, teens leading Young Life Camps here in Colorado, friends fundraising for an adoption, and young leaders with YWAM headed all over the world --- to name a few.

In the past few years alone, our children have made multiple trips to Mexico, Germany, Alabama, and Trinidad and Tobago.

I am thankful we live in a place where there is a culture of giving -- and going.

Today, I'd like to give you an inside look at our "fundraising" process for those also considering whether or not they can  afford to send there kids on mission.

1.  We encourage savings -- ALL YEAR LONG.  The average cost of a trip has been approx $2,200 per person.  In the past, Elizabeth has been able to save over $1,000 in a year -- and Hosanna (even without a job) has been able to save more than $500 to put towards her own costs.

2.  We insist that our children pay a portion of their own way before we seriously look at fundraising.  We want our children to be the first to take THEIR calling, THEIR mission seriously.  We remind them that it's a perfectly legitimate way for them to spend their birthday money.  If they aren't willing to "pay a price" -- or sacrifice for the sake of going -- we don't feel it's fair to ask other people too.

The cost we expect up front from a particular child is based on the child's age and ability to earn money.  Generally, any where from $300 - $500.

3.  Next, we sit down with the child(ren) and come up with SEVERAL ways for them to WORK and EARN the money.  Our older daughters have regular, paying jobs.  Easy.  Our younger children have to be creative.

Besides the usual babysitting and misc household chores they can do for the neighbors, Victoria can knit like a machine.  Here is a sample of her work:

She uses bulky yarn and knits on a loom for accuracy.  She is currently selling this hat/scarf set for a $30 donation.

Here's another example:

Victoria also makes and sells homemade laundry soap in 5 gallon buckets.  $15 per bucket.

Our neighbors and friends buy her soap and switch out their empty bucket for a full bucket when necessary.  She also sells homemade Glass and All Purpose Cleaner for $5 per container.

** Let me add a little note here:  Victoria profits off her scarves and laundry soap BECAUSE HER PARENTS BUY ALL HER SUPPLIES.  More on that later.

Benjamin wants to do "manly" chores.  Fine then.  He began by making a flyer which he attached to neighbor's doors with a rubber band.  Whereas it's not quite time for Coloradans to begin mowing their grass, all the snow/dirt/slush this time of year does make for messy cars.  He advertised he would come to their home, detail and wash their car for a $20 donation.  His mother also insists that he be a Poopper Scooper.  I do not allow any job to be "beneath them" at this point.

Insert (and expect) kink:  Shortly after the flyers went out, Benjamin broke his foot in a basketball game.  Cast and Physical Therapy for approx 9 weeks.  This makes any walking/standing activity difficult.  No impossible, but difficult.

Since he was limited, we decided to do an Intercessory Prayer Calendar.

Benjamin has been "selling" dates on his calendar.  If you buy April 1st, the cost is $1.  If you buy April 21st, the cost is $21.  When someone signs up to be his "intercessor" for that day, in exchange for their donation, Benjamin is mailing them an "Map" put out by Every Home for Christ (which we got free from our church) and a list of "Prayer Points" both for his mission trip and the country in general.  It's a great family activity -- and great for Ben to have had to sit down and research concerning the country he'll be working in.

We have several dates available April 4 - 14, and April 22 - 28.  

I allow them to use my facebook to advertise and from there they branch out to neighbors, their own friends, and family.

4.  Billy and I sit down and decide how much we can contribute to the trip.  After all, they are our kids.  In the past, we have funded anywhere from 30% - 100% of their trip costs.  However, we do not offer this money until after the work is done.  We want our kids to work as hard as possible to cover the costs themselves.  After all, they are going to work, to give.  It's not a vacation.

Also, if I decide that in March, for example, I can give my son $200 towards the costs of his trip, why not have him work for it?  In the past the kids have cut coupons, helped dad with yard work, maintained our cars, etc to get their money from mom and dad.  It's a win-win.

This also goes towards fundraising supplies.  If I ALREADY plan to give Victoria $15, why not buy her yarn to knit a scarf she can then sell for $30.

5.  At this point, they are well on their way to earning their own money for their trip.  Therefore, we now allow them to send out "support letters".  Again, because we live in an area where giving -- and going -- is a part of the culture, people are accustomed to such letters and WANT to be apart of young people learning to live on a mission.

Truthfully, we probably couldn't do it without the generous support of our family and friends.  It takes a village and we are so so deeply grateful for ours.

6.  Finally, we sit down as a family and discuss different ways to use our gifts and talents to create fundraising events -- and sometimes involve others who are fundraising in our efforts.

Events Calendar

Kindermusik Playdate, March 26th at 10am

Ages 4 months - 6 years and a caregiver

$10 suggested donation per child

Mountain Dew Cakes

$10 suggested donation per cake

Will deliver, Saturday March 30th

Car Wash, TBA

Krispie Kreme Doughnuts

Preorders

TBA

In this way, we raise the remainder of the funds $10 at a time.  $10 becomes $100 -- and $100 hopefully becomes $500.

We pray that God would bless and multiply our efforts.

Does that sound like a lot of work?  It is.  Lot's of work -- added on to our regular, already full lives -- for several months a year. 

But, if my kids can't handle it -- how are they suppose to handle the hard work that comes from being set in a foreign culture, with foreign language and food, little sleep, and physical labor in the hot sun for up to 10 days at a time?

Worth it?  I think, yes.  The training process, the giving, the sacrificing, the hard work, the going -- all worth it.

Until next time,