Friday, July 5, 2013

Gastric Bypass Surgery - 3 month update

My recovery from Gastric Bypass Surgery was so difficult the first 2 weeks, I journaled daily in order to see any improvement - no matter how minuscule - and convince myself that I wasn't going to die!

Here are a few notable days...

Day Before Surgery:  Billy and I decided to stay in a hotel room in Fort Collins.  Thankful for the quiet my nerves so desperately needed, the laughter we share (thankful we are still good friends), thankful to finally be at this point and VERY happy Billy's keeping me distracted.

Ate last supper at Famous Dave's.  Decided not to pig out.  It was just too weird.

Woke up in the night scared and grossed out by thoughts of the procedure.  None-the-less, feel RESOLVED.

Day of Surgery:  Walked in so scared my entire body was trembling.  Singing "Glorious God" to myself all morning.  Was told to shower with what amounted to a small bottle of bleach and that I could eat ice chips in moderation.  In moderation?  Ice chips?

Day after Surgery:  Walked 5,700 steps.  Doctor reminded me not to compare the next 6 weeks with the next 6 years.  All righty then.

Day 2 post opt:  Billy forgot to pick up Cottage Cheese.  I want to kill him.

Day 3 post opt:  Sleep is the great equalizer.  Therefore, I will sleep.

Day 5 post opt:  Spent the day allowing songs about God, My Healer, to wash over my mind.  Maybe I should think about washing my hair too.

Day 6 post opt:  Finally got my hair washed.  Did I really just say that?  Dressed to run some errands with Billy.  My jeans still fit.  Damn it!

Apparently, energy for getting dressed is all I can muster.  Too tired to actually run errands.  Is this normal?  Maybe I should have taken more than 1 week off work???

Day 7 post opt:  Saw clients today.  Didn't throw up in front of them.  My life...

Day 8 post opt:  I feel really weary of having to figure everything NEW out EVERY MORNING, EVERY DAY.  I want to be on auto pilot.

I imagine my healthy friends don't live on auto pilot in regards to their UNHEALTHY eating habits.  I am bored.  Lonely.  I want to sleep 24/7.  I wish this were easier and I'm scared it won't work.

Day 10 post opt:  Went for a walk in the park.  Maybe I won't die after all.

Day 12 post opt:  It's a new day.  Regrouped.  Living new.  Moving Forward.  I can do hard things.  Walked the mall 1 1/2 hours.

Day 13 post opt:  Going back to work.  Down 15 pounds.

Today it's been 3 months and 3 days since surgery.

I am STILL healing, and learning to live with a new anatomy.  NONE OF IT HAS BEEN EASY FOR ME.

However, down 48 lbs, and doing an hour of aerobics several days a week -- I FEEL GREAT!

It's not like I have formed better "habits" so to speak.

It still feels too new.

I'm TRYING to be disciplined with what I know I have to do, and hoping that HABIT follows.  Good habits.  But I am coming a long.

I generally eat 6 small meals a day (sometimes less, sometimes more).  At first, I could get "full" on 2 Tbs water.  Now, I can eat 6 oz of yogurt at a time.  2 oz of meat and a few nibbles of veggies.  I can easily drink 48 oz of water a day.

Still frustrating at times, but clearly making progress.

I told a friend that I don't crave sugar anymore.

I really mean that too.

It's like a miracle.  I would have NEVER thought I could get off the sweets.  But, low and behold, I can.  I can do hard things.

Yes, on the fourth I did say, "I'd rip my finger nail off to be able to drink a chocolate shake." But in reality, I wouldn't.  I like my finger nail.  And, I really, REALLY like living the life that's been in my mind for quite some time.  The life where I feel great and have energy to keep up with my active family.  The life where I can say NO to a chocolate shake, and still be happy.

In September, we are running a 5K (The Color Run) together.  You can see it here...

Love and blessings!

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