I paused, all be it for a moment, from my menial sunbathing. Sometimes, a moment is all God needs. I resolved quick as lightening to "do my part". I briefly questioned if the statistic was true. It didn't matter. I had already decided.
I decided - in that instance - that we would adopt one child from a foreign country and one child from foster care. We were ALREADY in the process of adopting from China. Convenient. Half way there.
3 years now Eli has been home from Henan China. And that statistic still plays in my head.
Nowadays, B and I regularly toss the "we should leave well enough alone" line back and forth at the appropriate times. When people ask, and they frequently do, "Do you plan to adopt again"? We answer, "We already have 5 kids". 5 kids IS a lot. We are reasonable people.
(I'd like to throw it in here - for good measure that adoptive families NEVER ask "if we are going to adopt again". It's usually people who HAVEN'T adopted that enjoy posing this question to our already large family. Makes you wonder...)
I sometimes think, sure we could be "less selfish" and muster the income for "one more". But money doesn't provide for more emotional energy...or any kind of energy for that matter (the sane part of my brain yells to me). If I were honest, some days I have the very thought that if we have to only PRAY for one more human being we're going to fall over the deep end. We are tapped out so it appears. I can't deny this fact.
I resort to saying "We're closed" and vow to save every dime so that when Elizabeth, Hosanna, Benjamin, Victoria and Eli decide to adopt (and I'm convinced they will) -- like King David funded Solomon's rebuilding of the temple -- we will be prepared to help our tribe bring the lonely into their families.
I get relentless with my friends. "You should adopt" "When are YOU going to adopt" "I'm SURE God wants you to adopt". I'm very popular. They've stopped having me over.
Yet, the stirring in my own heart is strong. Occasionally, I have the SUPER INSANE thought like we could even adopt a TEENAGER (of all things)! I mean, if not us, who? WHO IS GOING TO ADOPT THESE CHILDREN? Yes, I'm yelling that.
How do you know when God is calling you to do something? I hate to be very non-spiritual here, but my litmus test is simple. When something moves from a "good thing we COULD do" to something we feel personality "RESPONSIBLE to do" -- well then, we say it's a calling.
So where am I going with all this? No where...everywhere. We have been learning to trust God's timing more and more -- and TODAY isn't it. There are many reasons we feel tapped out. But that doesn't mean TOMORROW won't be the right time. And if it comes down to simply lending our maturity and resources to the next generation to adopt, we are happy with that too. We are open hearted, and praying.
We should probably leave well enough alone. But anyone who knows us, knows we have no intention of doing that. Leaving well enough alone isn't even in us.
What about you? What is it you should probably leave well enough alone, but in your heart, you know you have no intentions of doing so?