21 Romantic Ideas for Valentine's Day

Alrighty then.

The marriage class at Pike’s Peak has started and besides that, VALENTINE’S DAY is a mere few weeks away.  So…who’s ready to celebrate lovin’ and romance? 

I’m game.

We’re going to expect all 130 of our class participants to PLAN a Valentine’ish date…execute…and post their pictures with #storyofmarriageco.  And, I thought you might like to get in on the fun as well.

Here’s 21 of our favorite inexpensive romantic ideas to get ya thinkin….

1.  Linger over a fashionably late dinner. 

Put those kids to bed.  Early.  Order take out, or make your favorite meal.  Bust out the nice plates. Light candles, play music, pour a glass of wine.  Enjoy.

2.  Whip up something new together in the kitchen together. 

This is a great little book given to Billy and I years ago as a gift.  There are detailed menus, shopping lists, and “who does what” lists.  Similar ideas can be found online, or make it up as you go! 

3.  MOVIE NIGHT! 

But put a little something extra into it.  Move the furniture.  Bring a mattress into the living room or make a comfy pallet on the floor.  Have fun watching the movie as long as you can.  ;)

4.  Cuddle by the Fire

A glass of wine, a little chocolate, great conversation.  What’s not to like?

5.  Enjoy a FREE day. 

The Zoo, the Museum, even restaurants have them!  Do a little research and you can put one a month on your calendar for 2016.  Bonus points!

6.  Read a book together…in your favorite book store…with a warm drink.

7. Go on a hike together

This is something we love to do!  We live in one of the most beautiful cities in the country.  Get out there and enjoy it!

8.  Try something new (rock climbing, canoeing, snow shoeing etc). 

Survey your facebook friends, ask around to your co-workers.  BORROW SOME GEAR.   We’ve borrowed skiis, skates, kayak’s, condos, bikes, dirt bikes, you name it.  Get out there and have a blast!  Tip:  Return equipment in better condition than you got it...so your friends don't mind you borrowing again in the future.

9.  Do a scavenger hunt. 

There are a million of these available for free online.  Pinterest is full of them.  Research for yourself.  Works best if you're in a silly mood.  It just might be hilarious.

10.  Art Walk. 

Admittedly, you can’t do this right now.  But you should know about it.  Old Colorado City.  The first Friday of every month,  April – December from 5 – 8 pm.  Stroll, look at beautiful things, enjoy the night with other interesting people.

11.  Walk around the Broadmoor. 

Vallet park for a mere few dollars.  Bring your travel mugs from home filled with hot chocolate.  Stroll around and pretend like you live there.

12.  Spa Night

(use your imagination)

 13.  Camp fire

One evening, we drove up to a small camp ground.  It wasn’t open per say, and we didn’t plan on staying the night.  We pulled into a small lot that over looked a beautiful section of the mountains.  We took 2 camping chairs and fire wood from our car, and started a fire.  We talked, cuddled under blankets, roasted marshmallows,  watched the sun go down and froze to death.  All good.  All good.

14.  Camping/Star Gazing

For that matter, go camping.  Sleep in a tent…without your kids.  It’s more fun than you think.

15. Play in the Snow

16.  Break out the wedding video

Ours is on VHS tape, but maybe yours isn’t.  J

17.  Make chocolate covered strawberries

Or Chocolate anything for that matter….

18.  Sit beside one another on the couch and send playful texts.

19.  Pillow Fight

Ladies, go all out.  Give it your best shot.  Win.  Girls Rule.

20.  Write a love letter and read it to one another.

Try  “Ten Reasons I Love You”.  Or  “Ten Things You do that Make Me Laugh”.  Or  “Ten Things You do that Make Me Feel Loved by You.”

21.  Kiss

Free, healthy, and goes without saying…

Now, get to it!  Celebrate love, trying, forgiving, being forgiven, creativity, trying some more, friendship and fun!

Blessings,

Fall Play List - 2014

Sometimes, I write and I write....and it's all in an effort to find that one sentence....that one thing I'm actually trying to say.  Then, once I figure that out,  I can, for your sake, go back and erase everything else.  You're welcome.

I'm in a mood.  A disconnected, cranky, exasperated, not very happy, don't care if I tie all these random thoughts together into a cohesive blog mood.  A funk.

OR...I simply have the flu.

Either way.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

***

Here in the Ramfam home, we are currently in the THROES of the second week of going back-to-school
(not my favorite), and having the studio reopen with full time hours at the same time.

I don't know exactly why I find transition to be so hard.  Certainly, it's not the best time to come down with the flu.

While I lay in bed all day, My brain says, "Other families are going back to school.  Other people are going back to work after vacation.  And, making it look much easier than you are I might add".

Certainly, none of them EVER get the flu.  Or have any kind of momentary lapse of purpose or motivation. Or doubt.  Or find spaghetti sauce on the wall in the foyer and want to kill someone.

***

I remind myself that during times of high fever and coughing fits -- one probably shouldn't reevaluate one's whole life.  Perhaps my judgement is impaired by the cough medicine.

I remind myself to doubt my doubt.

*** 

During transitions (sickness aside), times where I have to let one thing go and embrace another, I have learned to prioritize self care the best I know how.  And, whereas I believe it's in my best interest to fight, if I must, to settle in to a new routine sooner rather than later...I try to handle my own emotions with kindness and gentleness.

When transitioning last Spring, I made a Play List of things to look forward too.  I am happy to say, it went pretty good.  Not exactly how I'd imagined, but that's ok.  That's real life too.

I did finish the front bathroom.  Although I choose the quick and easy route.  Doesn't look anything like my inspiration pictures.  But sometimes -- you just gotta get something done GOOD ENOUGH.  A year is too long to be working on redoing a bathroom.  I was over it.  A curtain with some tie backs, new rugs, new accessories -- for less than $100.  Good enough.

We did take an anniversary trip. To Breckenridge, a place I love, where we rode kayaks and bikes around town.  We will save Washington DC for another day and time I suppose.

I climbed the incline in 2 hours.  And we saw a few good movies.

But, contrary to how it may seem, checking things off my lists really isn't my sum total of how my life is going. Whether it's being lived well or not.

For fall, I tossed around some ideas.  I still want to paint my book shelves and revamp my Thanksgiving decorations.

I mean sort of I do.  But right now, there is something tossing inside me more.  There is this....

Shanna, just love people in this season.  And accept their love in return.  

And, right now, this feels like enough. 

And, know I say this is "enough" with an OVER FLOWING to do list.  More "new projects" for work and ministry than I can fathom.  Many areas that need a break through.  Many reasons to be brave.  Many things that require me to try it just one more time.  

I say this in the midst of time sensitive tasks and people depending on me...people expecting of me...and people wanting from me.  

And, I say this in the midst of PLENTY OF MUNDANE things as well.  Healthy meals that still need to be planned, shopped for (with coupons), prepped, prepared.  The gym -- still calls my name -- and I will answer.  I will "fit in" math homework, and reading to Eli, and yard work, and doing the monthly budget. Just.  Like. You.

I don't imagine fall and a season of  "just loving" to be quiet, or slow, or uncrowded for myself, my family or our calendar.

But I hope that I can be.  On the inside.  Because my FOCUS can just be LOVING WELL and RECEIVING LOVE WELL...not on my grand effort.  And, at the end of the day, I believe that will be enough.      

At least, I'm hoping so.  In this season, I am hoping for healing, and meaning, and inspiration, and joy and relationships for me and my family members that mean something at the end of it all.  And hoping to share some of that with others as well.

And, that's all I'm really trying to say.  

Well, that and the fact that B says some of the color has finally returned to my face.  :)

Selah.

Blessings,

A Mother's Day Card 2014

People often tell me how great my dad was.

Often.

Weekly - if not daily.

I guess a lot of you really liked him.

I get it.

He was very likable.

For the uninitiated, he was killed in a car accident 14 year ago.

It would surprise many to know though that I actually don't have 10 memories of him.

I asked my mom once recently, "Where was he?"

She simply replied, "He was just gone all the time."

***

Let me tell you what I do remember.

I remember my mom read me this book over, and over and over....

And this one...

And this one...

And this one...

And I am still an avid reader today.  And so are my children.

I remember getting lots of gifts from my mom that included....

I remember that she was a very good colorer.  

She made very small crayon strokes and stayed "in the lines" crazy good.

Admittedly, I don't value staying in the lines in quite the same way, I still crave creative activity.  I like having paint all over my hands, making things, and drawing.  Crayons, markers and fingerpaints still make me happy and I prioritize creative activities in my life.  My children do too.

Even when I just know, looking back, she was as poor as dirt, she made sure I had one of these...

And one of these....

And one of these....

And eventually these.....

I really can't even imagine how she paid for it.

Some of my earliest and most pleasant memories involved riding in the car and singing 2 part harmonies with my parents or my grandparents...my mom always the alto.

And, I not only make my living with these still today...I create jobs and employ others to do it as well.  When recently asked if one of my daughters could "play", I smiled and replied, "All my kids can actually."

Every.  Single.  Year.  She scraped and saved and took us on vacation here...

With friends I still enjoy being in relationship with today.

She was the first to take me to do this...

And for a kid whose unknown love language was Quality Time, 

with a dad who was gone tending to others all the live long day -- these trips she planned were a life line for  me.  And, she probably didn't even know it then.

I remember moments where she laughed til she cried.  

She had bionic ears.  Especially when she was suppose to be asleep.

She loved my dad.  Enjoyed her friendship with him.  Maybe that being the single greatest contribution ever made to me..and to my marriage...and to Elizabeth, Hosanna, Benjamin, Victoria and Eli.

She knew me better than I realized she did.

One day after discussing the possibility of marrying my pre-Billy boyfriend she simply said, "Shanna, I don't think you love him.  In fact, considering the way you treat him, I don't even think you like him!"  Gets a young girl thinking.  And, well again, Billy and I are grateful...as well as Elizabeth, Hosanna, Benjamin, Victoria and Eli.  ;)

She taught me how to wield sarcasm and speak in movie lyrics.  Without which my family would have a lot less communication.

She taught me not to take myself so seriously. 

Sure, I would occasionally get a card from my dad, but now that I'm a wife and mother, I'd bet a million dollars on the fact that it was my mom who had actually bought the card and told him to sign it.  That's not a knock on my dad, but let's just say, I've bought more than one girl card and told B what he needed to do with it.

I remember beautifully wrapped Christmas gifts.

You would have NEVER seen this sort of simplicity under my moms Christmas tree.

You would never have seen cheap paper -- with Mikey Mouse or Snowmen.

Making the presentation of the gift exquisite, with the perfect hand tied bow, was important in my household -- it was a part of the the gift.  She didn't know how to say it, words weren't her thing.  But she was trying to express to us our value.  I get it now.

Gifts were her love language.

To this day, I love wrapping my gifts in beautiful ways too.  

Don't even try to bring cheap wrapping paper up in my house.  My kids don't like it either.  And hospitality in all it's forms for me, means expressing to you your value.  And, I teach my kids that too.

Never once received or wanted one of these...

Our Easter Baskets were custom built.  Every item thoughtful.

She didn't let me quit things.  And, whereas I believe there is a time to quit some things...the ability to not give up saved my life in regards to turning my health around this past year.  I see the same determination and "stay steady" attitude in my children.

In our adult life, she's not given up in the midst of her own devastating struggles.  And she's taught me that loving your family is good.  And forgiving yourself is paramount.  

She's always valued nice clothing -- and made sure I had all the things I needed growing up.  I took that for granted.

On Friday, I got a card and a check in the mail from her.  The card said FOR VACATION CLOTHES.  YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR.

Still making sure I have nice things.  Still planning vacations for her family.

Today it's not wasted on me.  

For all the Billy Touchton fans out there, again, I'm not knocking my dad.  I am mostly just saying my mom lived in his shadow.  And, today, I thought I'd give her the respect she deserved.

My dad had the luxury of having really good, Godly parents.  My mom didn't.  And the latter she had to ascend to become more, better -- to rise above that which she was taught to her and to learn that which was not demonstrated in her own growing up household far exceed his.  

And she did well.

"She watches over the affairs of her household

    and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 

Her children arise and call her blessed;

    her husband also, and he praises her:

29 

“Many women do noble things,

    but you surpass them all.”

30 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

31 

Honor her for all that her hands have done,

    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

Proverbs 31:27-31

Love you mom!

Lest it all seem too perfect...

So, today was the day.

I couldn't manage a whole Wednesday off work, so I instead took both the morning AND the evening.

Which of course meant having a sick child who needed to be seen by the doctor first thing.

Finally done, around 11 am, I text B, "Going up in to the mountains.  For Solitude.  To pray.  Seek God.  Build an altar...plant a tree...you know...stuff like Abraham did."

He text back, "Yea, well don't get your arm stuck in a rock."  A reference to 127 hours where the hiker cuts his own arm off to save his life.

Fortunately, it was a GREAT morning.

Because...

As I came back down the pass to enjoy the rest of my time  -- the radiator hose blew.

Figures.

B came to the rescue just as the heavy snow started. 

Snowflakes as big as my head. 

The car was so hot, we decided it would be best to abandon the rest of my plan, drop me at the school to teach a 1 hour class and come back for the car later.

It was around 6pm when we got back -- so dinner at the gas station it was.

For me, a small bag of cashews, and a decaf coffee.

For B,  Muscle Milk.

And...wait for it...for Eli...Air Heads and Sprite.

B looking into the car, "The problem is bigger than I thought.  I'm gonna drive it home."

Me, "BIGGER THAN YOU THOUGHT?  DRIVE IT HOME?"

I've learned that when it comes to car fixing, and when B gets into his "D" (Driver) mode -- it's best for our marriage to just go with his plan -- no matter how insane.

I mean, we could have called the tow truck driver.  After all, we haven't seen him since....

SUNDAY...

When the starter on B's car died.

Eye roll.

Fortunately, we made it home.

Forgive us if we are in bed asleep by 7.  After all, it is my day off.  :)

Blessings!

Spring Play List

Back in January, when I started talking about GOAL SETTING and making NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS...It seemed as if it made some people...nervous.

I got a lot of private messages from people I hadn't seen in years that went something like "How about this for a fitness goal, just be happy with yourself".  And, "It's ok to just enjoy what you've already accomplished." And, "Who needs the pressure?  Just resolve to make no resolutions."  (That last one does make me smile.)

This prompted me to ask B, "When did 'goal setting' start equating to not being happy with yourself?  When did New Year's Resolutions start making so many people nervous?"  

B shrugs, "Blog about it."

Okey Dokey then...

How about, I am happy.  Because happy is my habit.

How about, I do enjoy what I've already accomplished.  Because enjoying is my habit.

And, I agree.  No one needs the pressure of having to be or do more.

So, 

Now that we are all in agreement....

I set goals for 2014 in the 9 areas of life I think are MAJOR.  You may feel there are more I've yet to discover -- or you may feel I've lost my ever loving mind and gone goal setting crazy.  Regardless...here's my list...

Major Areas of Shanna's Life...in no particular order...

1.  Servant Leadership

2.  Education

3.  Spiritual

4.  Social

5.  Financial

6.  Quality of Life (Enjoyment)

7.  Financial

8.  Professional

9.  Marriage and Family

Some of these items I wrote down were true, measurable goals.  

"Put another $1,000 into Emergency Savings Account."  

"Attend a Conference this Year."  

"Read Books".  

Some, I know I'll hit.  

Others, let's just say, a little progress is better than no progress.  I happen to be o.k. with that.

Such as... 

"Practice your Piano 1 Hour a Week".  

Or..

"Write Daily in Thanksgiving Journal."

Some things I wrote down are not measurable goals per say.  They were things tumbling around in my heart and spirit that I wanted to express more throughout the year.  

"Pray for Kids in Foster Care".   

"Weigh less, trust your choices more."

But, truthfully, most of my list were simply things I wanted to do.  Things I really wanted to make time for in 2014.  Things I wanted on my calendar to look forward too.

Mix this with my ineptness to transition from one season to another, and well I went through some of my "New's Resolutions" to come up with my Spring Play List -- Things that boost my spirit to think about, plan and do.  

Spring isn't the best season in Colorado.  Actually, it's the only season Colorado doesn't do well.  So...it's important to plan a little happy into it.

Spring Play List 2014

1.  Make progress on the remodel in the front bathroom.  Yes, I realize I've been saying this for over 1 year now.  365 plus days.  Shake it off!

Here's my newest inspiration...

2.  Take the family to see a movie around Easter Time.  This has NOTHING to do with Jesus.  It's Thorn season.  We're busy kicking butt in life this time of year.  It's just a splurge.  About $100+ for a family of 7 to go to the movies and get a few snacks.  Currently, I cherish the times we all have together -- as it is rare.  So....the choices are....

3.  B and I are beginning to plan a 4 day get away for our 20th Anniversary this summer.  Because...it's a big deal.  We'd love to go see Washington D.C. and touring it on bikes would be a dream come true for me.

Ok, not that...

Anyone have any suggestions on where to stay?  How's about that white house in the back ground?  :)

4.  Paint the downstairs book cases.  Billy will probably have a heart attack when I break out this project.  Pretty sure I'm gonna do it anyways.

5.  Hike the Manitou Incline.  And invite others to do it with me.  2,000 steps to the top.  Yea, gonna be a beast.

By then, it's gonna be SUMMER which is my favorite.  :)

Don't you wish your New Year's Resolutions were as fun as mine?  Hahahaha

I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. LOVE, REALLY LOVE 

To hear how you build a little "happy" into your life!

"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person 

under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil 

all the days of the life God has given them under the sun."  Ecclesiastes 8:15

Blessings,

{Lessons from Spring Break - Day 5} On Disappointment

I won't even TRY to explain this as a healthy breakfast.  I won't.  It's also not NEW.  But some days, just call for it still.

This morning...

Ladies and Gentlemen...BISCUITS AND GRAVY.

Billy loves gravy.  BUT HATES THE IDEA OF MAKING IT WITH GREASE.  Any kind of grease. Bacon grease.  Sausage grease.  Broccoli grease.  It doesn't matter.  He's not a fan of grease.

So, instead, I brown some sausage, DRAIN IT and use this...

Mix it with water, and wal-lah!  Deliciousness.

***

Billy got some disappointing news this week at work.  

We aren't strangers to disappointment.  Neither are you, are you?

Truthfully, we could write a book on it.

Most significantly though is what you decide to do with it -- and even MORE significantly -- what you decide to do with it as a couple.

We gave ourselves a few moments to catch our breath.  We contacted people who cared.  Who cared about the situation and more importantly -- who care about us no matter what our situation.

Do you have those people in your life?  If not, it would benefit you to stop everything RIGHT NOW and seek them out.  Everyone, EVERYONE, needs friends.

We made a decision to be patient with each other's reaction.

We spoke truth over each other and our situation.

And, we found reasons to quietly celebrate our life -- in our small corner of the universe -- just for a few moments, just the too of us -- even in the midst of disappointment.  

We recounted what we had learned.  Talked about the feed back from others we were FORTUNATE to get -- even if it didn't feel great.  How that makes us stronger candidates the next go around.  We talked about how we'd pleased God with right hearts (even if we'd had stupid heads) and that we were happy with our life as it was.  We would try to fix the "stupid head" problem, and we restated our resolve to continue trusting God in all situations.  Our conclusion is always the same.  Our life is one amazing, scary, wild, awesome ride.  And we are fortunate to be living it.

People, even in difficult seasons, you can find reasons to celebrate.  Even if it's a quiet celebration.  Even in the midst of disappointment and sadness.  The human heart is great and vast.  Capable of joy and pain -- all at the same time.

Just look.  The reasons to celebrate are right there, in the midst of your real actual life.  For couples, shared moments of gratitude and joy will not only ease disappointment (until it comes back around again), it will fuel your marriage and make it stronger.

Finally, a nod to wives when it's your husbands disappointment.  There are some things only you can do.  Be generous.

Today, I speak over you the same words I am currently speaking over the RamFam...

"Yahweh your Elohim is with you.  

He is a hero who saves you.  

He happily rejoices over you, 

renews you with His love, 

and celebrates over you with shouts of joy."  

Zephaniah 3:17

Blessings and Peace,